


Je ne sais (pas) quoi

by redscudery



Series: Scudery's Saturday Night Fic Fest [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: First Time, Gay Cats, M/M, apparently, that's a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-03 23:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redscudery/pseuds/redscudery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone wanted cats that looked like Sherlock and John humping each other all over the flat, leading to ...something for Sherlock and John. That's what the Saturday night fic fest is all about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Je ne sais (pas) quoi

“Absolutely not!”

“They’re evidence, John. Evidence.”

“Evidence of your insanity. I know I’m going to be responsible for the cleanup, and I say no.”

“Hmph.” Sherlock breezed into the flat anyway and put the carrier on the floor. When he opened the little metal door, two furry faces popped out, one black and one tawny brown.

“Come on, John. They even look like us. See, that chubby little brown one likes your chair.” The tawny cat leaped on to John’s chair and sniffed around. 

The slinky black cat stalked to the middle of the room and urinated on the carpet.

“Now that you mention it, Sherlock, I do see a resemblance.” Sherlock wrinkled up his nose and stalked away, leaving John laughing like a madman.

 

It soon became clear that the gratuitous urination wasn’t part of the black cat’s regular practice, but, John thought, its other regular behaviour was more problematic. Specifically, the way it mounted the tawny cat, biting its neck and rocking its hips back and forth. John could have managed that, he guessed, if it hadn’t been for its smug expression and the complete submission on the little brown cat’s face. It was just too reminiscent of Sherlock, and he was having enough trouble not thinking of Sherlock that way. 

One day, it finally came to a head. He’d come out of the shower to find the two cats at it in the living room, again. 

“Quit it! STOP that, you furry arseholes! Enough! Enough!” He picked up a pillow and flung it at them, but he missed, and as he went to grab it, he tripped and dropped his towel. He turned around to grab it, but as he did the door clicked and Sherlock came in. As he glanced around, taking everything in, his eyebrows rose higher and higher. 

“My goodness, John.” He stepped closer and John took a half-step back, “This is very clever. The nudity. The cats in sexual congress. Everything set up to seduce me. And…”

John opened his mouth, then closed it again. Sherlock was looking at him intently. The cats, still pressed together, were looking at him intently (if disapprovingly). It seemed like the wrong time to say he’d only been swearing at the cats and dropped his towel. 

“You are.. very fetching, John, although perhaps less hirsute than your feline counterpart.” Sherlock was very close. “A very clever plan to get my attention. I do approve.”

And then Sherlock kissed him. 

The cats stayed.


End file.
